So Christmas is coming up soon, I know Halloween is up first in the upcoming seasonal holidays this year but that is over so quickly, you barely celebrate it compared to Christmas. You see Christmas excites me, It brings me joy when I go into a store and I hear the jingles, I see the decorations, I think my favourite part will always be the Christmas tree, it's so beautiful. However I feel like it's never complete for me, I come from a family who doesn't celebrate it so growing up I was always envious about others who were able to have a Christmas tree in their house and get to celebrate it. I always felt uncomfortable going back to school after Christmas and everyone was talking about all the presents they got and they then would ask me and I would make up some lie because I really wanted to be like them. So I always felt lonely during Christmas, a season meant for families to reunite. However that all changed when I met my significant other, his family celebrated Christmas, he celebrated Christmas and I started to feel whole again during this period. My first time celebrating it was very chill, I don't know why but in my head I assumed alot more would go on but it was your typical, open the presents, eat, drink and play board games and then I realised that was all it had to be as the meaning of it is to spend time with one another. I really enjoy being able to buy gifts for others and being able to put presents under my Christmas tree now. Although now that I have come to feel not so lonely during the Christmas period, I realise that there are alot of people who still due to various reasons and it makes me sad. The emphasis on Christmas especially in the U.K is everywhere, from adverts, local supermarkets to the houses which are lit with lights down the street. You basically cant escape from it so your bound to feel lonely if your not doing anything. I remember I read somewhere that alot of people tend to feel more depressed during the Christmas season and that is worrying. I don't really have any solutions but it is something more and more people can be aware of and as a way to include others. Anyway, yall better get saving.
I believe the last time I wrote an anime review was for 'Erased' and I don't think I did it any justice but then again no review can, you gotta watch these things for yourself. Now the first time I heard about Carole & Tuesday was on a recommended youtube video where someone had uploaded the performances of the characters in the anime. As a long time anime enthusiast , I was intrigued, the music wasn't your typical JPOP or an anime opening, there was different genres, indie, edm, opera and some whimsical nonsense. The dance moves also got to me, they had such groove to them considering they were drawn and then it finally came on to Netflix UK and I had to watch it. Before watching it, I didn't really read about it other than watching that youtube video, I assumed it was a anime about contestants performing and nothing more but I was genuinely surprised that it actually had a story revolving around two characters called Carole & Tuesday. It was also refreshing to see one of the main character's Carole being of African descent and a refugee, something you really don't see in anime. The contrast between the two characters, one a refugee and the other Tuesday who was born to privilege adds to the chemistry both characters have with each other.
(I want to be named Tuesday, it's such a cool name.)I cant be the only one who likes the dynamic of two different backgrounds meeting each other and starting lives together regardless of their backgrounds. Come to think about it, that's pretty much every anime I've seen. Anyway, Carole & Tuesday is based in the future and they are on Mars which is so freaking cool. The entirety of the anime is futuristic, AI everywhere, almost reminded me of 'Detective Pickachu', in terms of the Pokemon being everywhere, almost like pets and in this universe, some AI were pets too. I want an AI pet.Carole & Tuesday both share a love for music and find each other by coincidence on a bridge where Carole is busking, they realise how compatible they are as Carole makes melodies and Tuesday writes lyrics. They then decide to become a duo and compete on a music competition as a chance to debut into the music industry and at the same time their friendship is tested through hardships. What I appreciated about this anime is the various topics it addresses throughout, for example; homosexuality, fame, stage mums, child stars, friendship, jealousy, internet celebrities, stalkers, family, AI, refugees,the future and probably a lot more that I cant think of in this moment. This is what makes this anime a slice of life as it is relatable to us in a time where every anime right now is being teleported to another world as a hero and you have to save everyone which don't get me wrong, I have seen all of those. Cant wait for shield hero season 2.I wouldn't say it is the best anime I have seen but it is a refreshing addition to a season of animes that borderline as same as. So if your in the market for a light hearted anime, give this a watch in the evening.
Today I thought to myself, I would adventure out into the wilderness and by that I mean go outside by myself. I ended up in a local Costa being tempted by their seasonal drinks and ordered myself a bonfire latte and yes it does taste as good as it sounds. There was also a hot chocolate and cold brew option which I will have to try next time on my payday,
coffee gets expensive.I also recently tried Starbucks, pumpkin spice latte and in this case, it's one of those, it sounds better than it tastes. All I tasted was coffee and for someone who prefers their drinks sweet, it was a bitter ending. I have to laugh at myself as I drink this latte for having thoughts on which latte I preferred and what I would rate it. Oh how far I have come as a 24 yr old.Do you ever think to yourself, how your teenage self would think of your current adult self? I do and I wonder if she would be disappointed with me or happy with how she turned out? I like to believe I turned out ok, I mean it's not like I'm a mass murdering criminal, I'm pretty normal with normal problems but sometimes I think to myself, I wish there was something exciting happening, maybe dragons or a quest I could go on, something like the films I watch, the books I read or the anime's I watch before I sleep. I wish I could be teleported like Shield hero to another world and my sole purpose is to be a hero and save the world, I guess I want a purpose like many others, a legacy to leave behind, my name in history. But I'm too normal, I live in a normal town, I have normal friends with real goals like work, get married, have kids and retire. I can't be the only one who finds that boring, maybe I should of chosen a acting career because then I could live out these 'fantasies', be anyone I want, whenever and wherever. I sometimes think to myself, I'm too much of a dreamer and wish I had realistic goals like others but in my mind, I'm dreaming of adventures and voyages. I feel thankful to my significant other, he doesn't ridicule me for these thoughts but I do wonder how long it'll take this world to kill my dreams.
Woke up today feeling tired as usual, when will I become a morning person I wonder. The coffee is helping slightly but I know I'm going to have to pull out my wild card and buy a light redbull to get me rolling for the day. Regardless, today is a Sunday, a chill day for most, a day where all the shops close early but as I work in retail, I'll be at work today and it'll be super busy. Although as soon as I finish work, I'll be going to the cinema to watch IT chapter 2 with my family so I'm super excited. I seriously cant wait for the upcoming spooky season and festivities. Anyways, I'm running late for work, let me down this cold coffee now. Au reviour.
I recently returned from my short travels to Venice with my SO and I'm already feeling some sort of way. It truly is hard to return back to your mundane lifestyle after some travels, especially when you live in grey old London.
(I say that but London will always be my home.)Regardless, it was a swell old time, I explored somewhere new, embraced a new culture and made new friends. Does anyone else get butterflies in their stomach when visiting a new place? The excitement, the endorphins, come crashing into my gut, giving me the best feeling in the world and then the worst as that moment is never forever. The pictures help with the nostalgia but nothing will ever beat that moment of time when you first set your foot off the plane, when you breathe in the air of another country into your lungs, when you open your eyes and see the beautiful city around you. The memory makes me smile but also haunts me as I get worried I wont be able to experience that feeling again almost like love, it's scary to let go, it's hard to look back but there's something called hope, there's always something to look forward too. We humans are great at achieving what we put our minds too and that thought will always comfort me amongst all those other feelings, so arrivederci Venice.
Does anyone else get semi nervous about travelling? I'll be going to Italy this Saturday for 4 days with my SO and I'm so excited but so nervous at the same time, almost like pre wedding jitters, not that I have been married but I assume it's the same? Anyways, we'll be staying at Margeria which is on the mainland and 20 mins away from Venice, It has a beach, swimming pool and the best bit is that we will be staying in these cute huts so not your standard hotel but more of a camping style except more like glamping with its shower and toilet. To be honest, I haven't been abroad since I last travelling to Prague so I feel extremely grateful and happy to be able to go to Italy even if it's for 4 days. The thought of being away from home, from the U.K brings me so much sigh of relief if you know what I mean? almost like I'm experiencing freedom for the first time. I'm sure everyone knows what I mean, you know when you want to escape from it all and you wonder if that will make your problems go away, make you happy. I always feel like that when I'm travelling ,my issues just feel lighter, I'm more happier and when I come home, it's just not the same feeling and I do always wonder why it feels so melancholic coming home. Regardless, it'll be fun and I'm excited to let my hair down and have fun for once, away from responsibilities. Ezgi.
So you know how I always mention how I have a uneventful day at work almost all the time, well today was the same except for that one moment, 'the sexist moment'. Now I wish I could dramatises this for you all but it pretty much went like this. You see, this customer was slightly older than middle aged, I cant really tell but he basically had grey hair and a lot of wrinkles but you know, not that it matters, I'm just being really petty by calling him old. Anyways, he wanted a refund, so me and another colleague was helping him with that and the system was going through it and not being that cooperative as it should of and we were apologising to the customer for it but it didn't end there, he then decided to blame the slow system on women. He said I quote, "must of been made by a female, must be a female system" and me and my other colleague were just like "wooooooooooooooooooooooooooow", I swear it felt like we said it like that. Then, he just walked off and my colleague was like I thought you would say something but then I'm just like, what would I say? Do I really want to spend my time arguing with this ignorant 'human being', Do I really want to work myself up and possibly upset myself as a result because of someone's view in which I do not care for. But then, the other half of me wished I said something and stood up for myself and for feminism in general. So I feel like I'm stuck in between the two, feeling disappointed in myself for not sticking up for who I am as a person and my morals, yet feeling like it's not worth the argument at the same time. I really hate having moral dilemmas, debating with myself, feeling 2 sets of feelings and do I have a moral of a story for this story, I guess, being human is hard and your not always going to agree with others or yourself oh and being a woman is great and If I were to be born again, I would choose being a woman yet again.
So today was a uneventful, mundane evening. I had a evening shift and had a not so pleasant experience with a Priest, I mean it's kind of funny yet confusing at the same time but anyway, that's a story for another day. I rushed home after my shift and started to feel really sick because I hadn't eaten since morning so I gorged out on a left over spaghetti and some hot chicken wings crisps and then felt even more sick because I ate too fast. A mistake I always seem to make and regret but it's all good, I got through it and had a lot of water to help digest it all. Now I'm in bed with some warm milk and a shot of brown cinnamon syrup to sweeten me up ready for bed, but yet it's still hard to sleep knowing that I have another uneventful, long day of having a job which is soooo boring and uninspiring. I mean I tell myself, this isn't forever and that I'm working this part time job to support my journey towards my dream of having a career that I love and I'm passionate about. However the doubt and the fear of failing manages to stop me each time from trying. Although I know this is only a bump in the road of a very long journey of being the person I was meant to be and who I would like to be so basically, it's a work in progress. Now I didn't expect this to get so deep but for some reason when your lying in bed, you tend to get very sentimental and tend to overthink a lot, well at least I do. Anyhow, there's my insightful monologue for the night and now I'm ready for bed so goodnight folks.
Coffee thoughts// vol 1.
Does anyone else tend to drift of into their minds whilst drinking coffee? because I do. Today I woke up feeling ok like most days, I want to change this type of pessimistic feeling and magically turn it into a obnoxious positive feeling but it's hard and that's ok, these things take time. Anyhow, today is a work day and it's a very nice day. Now that's annoying, why is it that every time I'm at work, the sky is most beautiful. I'm starting to think God has a vendetta against me... This morning, I treated myself to a caramel latte with a dose of brown cinnamon sugar syrup, it has become one of my all time fave duos, it's so yummy that I could have 10 cups of it in a day. As I sip the remaining bits of my yummy latte, I thought to myself, shit I got dishes to do.
Lately, this question has kept on popping up into my brain, now it could be the job I have but I have noticed that the more I interact with strangers or let’s say actual human beings on this planet, I’ve noticed how rude they are and for no reason.
Let me tell you something about myself, I work in retail. Oh yes the beloved retail, I am living the dream by working there by choice because that’s clearly what I want to be doing with my life… But it pays the bills until I grow the fuck up and decide on a career. lol. Dang, I’m a hypocrite, I’m talking shit about mean people and look at me being mean to myself but anyway, enough of me. Now not to be ageist but I have noticed how rude middle aged people are, mostly our parents ages and yes I am generalising which is a no no but I really need to vent about this. They think they own the world and us, like 5% of them are nice and gracious and the remaining are so entitled. I have had people throw their cards/cash at me instead of just passing it to me, you know I’m a germaphobe as the next person but they don’t actually have to touch my hands to pass me their cash unless I’m missing something and my hands are disgusting. Not to mention when you go over to help them and they look you up and down and ask you what the fuck are you doing and I’m like I’m helping you and they’re like get the fuck out of here and when you leave, they call you back like pls help me and I just have to do it because job. Why cant people just be gracious and have nice manners, you don’t have to always snap at someone especially a stranger who is trying to get through their day and do their job just because your a entitled, mean person. You know what’s even more annoying? when they touch you, like did I give you permission to keep patting me on my back to get my attention or poking me, like where are my rights people. I mean who am I kidding, If everyone was not mean and actually respected other people
and their personal space , the world would be a better place and yes I said it, it is true. Anyways, if your one of those can I speak to the manager, be ashamed of yourself unless your nice about it then have a nice day.